* Guys, read the RED portion at your own risk, but it's lady talk.
|MISSING IN ACTION|...So, this is officially week 29, and some of you may be wondering where I have been. The honest answer is I don't know. I'm still in the same place I was when I started this blog pretty much. I stopped writing when life really started happening. My husband and I began to look for a new home, my dad got sick, job hunting chronicles continue, and a whole heap to celebrate. In addition to all of the holidays between May and August, birthdays and promotions (my husband) have been had and so have babies! Yes, babies!!! Three of the four women previously mentioned in my blog have given birth to their babies. And, GUESS WHAT??? The are ALL BOYS. Yup! Precious, sweet baby boys!!! But, I digress! So, in the midst of all that I have been doing, a few things have changed.
The first thing I want to talk about is the purpose of this blog. My health hasn't changed much, but I had gained back all the weight I had lost and an additional five pound. I remember the day I got on the scale because I had just been enjoying life and all of its conveniences. It was a hot July day, not long after the 4th, and I thought (well, I knew) may I had put on a couple of pounds because my clothes weren't fitting like they had been. I stepped on the pretty glass scale and saw the ugly number. I couldn't believe what I'd done to myself. I stepped off and thought maybe it needs to calibrate or something. You know how sometimes if your scale isn't level it will display an error code? Well, there was no error, besides that of my ways...Lol. I began to get frustrated. First, at myself because I know my condition. I know how my body works, and I know what I need to do for it to work properly (to an extent). Then, I became angry that I looked at so many people down so many more calories than I had and knew they hadn't put on an ounce of weight, but I realized that I'm not them, and they're not me. Some of these people have all kinds of ailments, and though I'm fat with PCOS those are the ONLY things wrong with me. So, six weeks from yesterday, I got back to it, and so far I've lost 12 lbs. which is right on target for an average of two pounds per week. I joined a wellness group that my boss introduced me to where teams compete to see which can lose the most weight in 10 weeks (I joined week 2). I'm on Team Holistic Wellness, and I have a wonderful bunch of women of all ages, shapes, and sizes who are encouraging to say the least. Woooo! Their stories, their mindsets, their spirits just make me ecstatic to be a part of the team. I could go on, but I'll just stop because the whole post could be about them. Even though I have lost 12 lbs. this time around I am still counting from where I began: the good, bad and ugly. I still have 43 lbs. to go and five months in which I have to lose them. This makes me wish I had used the 4 months in La La Land to my advantage because 8.6 lbs per month is a LOT for someone with PCOS, but hey! I GOT GOALS!
The second thing that has changed, is my husband has been promoted to police officer at his job and is now attending the police academy until the end of November. Our schedules don't correspond sometimes, but it makes our time together that much more special. In the midst of all that's going on in the world today, I pray for him daily. I pray that he makes it to his destination safely every morning, that he finds the strength to relieve all doubt and fear that he may have in his process, and that when this process is over he looks back and sees how strong and resilient he really is. Most of all, I pray that once he returns in those "blues" that he come home to me every night and that he's constantly learning from the day. I pray that his character be more conspicuous than the gleam of his badge but not that of his wedding band...lol. Y'all, I'm telling you! Wooooo, Lord! I'd post a picture, but he asked me not to. I am a strong believer in that we grow from those things that are new and uncomfortable at times. This has been an experience of growth for the both of us as God tests our marriage, our perseverance, and our faith.
Another thing that has changed is our address. As I mentioned earlier, we were house hunting, and we found our house. We are now in a new city, but not too far from where we were originally. We closed a month ago, but we've only officially lived there for about two weeks. This can be a whole other post as well. Boy, the "joys" of buying a house!!!
*********************************************************************************
For those of you who kept up with my blog, you all knew I was getting my birth control implant removed on June 1st. Well, I did! Tyrell was suppose to go with me, but his scheduled changed, so he couldn't. My GYN decided to see me back in six months (usually a year for non-cysters), if we haven't conceived by then. He prescribe prenatal vitamins so that my body is ready to welcome our baby when he or she is conceived. We commenced to baby making! June and July both fly by with no signs of a period, and I'm discouraged because I know my body doesn't do things like start menstrual cycles on its own. I began to wonder if we made the right decision or if we should seek some type of fertility assistance, but we decide to stick out the six months, and see what happens with prayer. One day early August, my breasts (well nipples) begin to get super sensitive. I began to wonder if it's Mother Nature or pregnancy. I couldn't tell so I consulted two friends who had experienced pregnancy. One had me thinking that I need to just listen to my body and be proud either way, and the other had me in the bathroom taking test (which were all negative). So many thoughts ran through my mind:
"It's just hormonal changes."
"Maybe it's too early to tell"
"I don't care which it is, but I hope whatever it is, it will hurry up and show itself."
Then, the day came, and I cried! It was a Monday, and I was at work having terrible stomach pains (like the ones when you really have to "go", but your scared to make the wrong move...lol"). So, I went to find that Mother Nature was on my side! That my body can do what it was made to do with no assistance from birth control. I cried because this was the first time in my adult life that I've had a period naturally! I celebrated right there on the toilet with no shame. If I can do this, there is no telling what God has in store for me. So what if I have to work a million times harder to lose weight and make babies. I'm going to do it! After fixing my face, I set up my fertility calendar, so that I could track my period and fertility. I'm not to the point where I'm taking temps and checking hormone levels, but Lord knows I may have to go there someday. Some other thoughts that have come to mind are:
What if I am not able to carry a child full term?
What if PCOS causes complications?
Will my weight be an issue?
Will pregnancy balance my hormone so that my man hairs fade? LOL
Since I'm fat will I show if I become pregnant?
That's just the beginning of the list, and after all these thoughts subside, I got to YouTube to look at videos of mom's who've been where I am. Then, I know that anything is possible!
|MISSING IN ACTION|...So, this is officially week 29, and some of you may be wondering where I have been. The honest answer is I don't know. I'm still in the same place I was when I started this blog pretty much. I stopped writing when life really started happening. My husband and I began to look for a new home, my dad got sick, job hunting chronicles continue, and a whole heap to celebrate. In addition to all of the holidays between May and August, birthdays and promotions (my husband) have been had and so have babies! Yes, babies!!! Three of the four women previously mentioned in my blog have given birth to their babies. And, GUESS WHAT??? The are ALL BOYS. Yup! Precious, sweet baby boys!!! But, I digress! So, in the midst of all that I have been doing, a few things have changed.
The first thing I want to talk about is the purpose of this blog. My health hasn't changed much, but I had gained back all the weight I had lost and an additional five pound. I remember the day I got on the scale because I had just been enjoying life and all of its conveniences. It was a hot July day, not long after the 4th, and I thought (well, I knew) may I had put on a couple of pounds because my clothes weren't fitting like they had been. I stepped on the pretty glass scale and saw the ugly number. I couldn't believe what I'd done to myself. I stepped off and thought maybe it needs to calibrate or something. You know how sometimes if your scale isn't level it will display an error code? Well, there was no error, besides that of my ways...Lol. I began to get frustrated. First, at myself because I know my condition. I know how my body works, and I know what I need to do for it to work properly (to an extent). Then, I became angry that I looked at so many people down so many more calories than I had and knew they hadn't put on an ounce of weight, but I realized that I'm not them, and they're not me. Some of these people have all kinds of ailments, and though I'm fat with PCOS those are the ONLY things wrong with me. So, six weeks from yesterday, I got back to it, and so far I've lost 12 lbs. which is right on target for an average of two pounds per week. I joined a wellness group that my boss introduced me to where teams compete to see which can lose the most weight in 10 weeks (I joined week 2). I'm on Team Holistic Wellness, and I have a wonderful bunch of women of all ages, shapes, and sizes who are encouraging to say the least. Woooo! Their stories, their mindsets, their spirits just make me ecstatic to be a part of the team. I could go on, but I'll just stop because the whole post could be about them. Even though I have lost 12 lbs. this time around I am still counting from where I began: the good, bad and ugly. I still have 43 lbs. to go and five months in which I have to lose them. This makes me wish I had used the 4 months in La La Land to my advantage because 8.6 lbs per month is a LOT for someone with PCOS, but hey! I GOT GOALS!
The second thing that has changed, is my husband has been promoted to police officer at his job and is now attending the police academy until the end of November. Our schedules don't correspond sometimes, but it makes our time together that much more special. In the midst of all that's going on in the world today, I pray for him daily. I pray that he makes it to his destination safely every morning, that he finds the strength to relieve all doubt and fear that he may have in his process, and that when this process is over he looks back and sees how strong and resilient he really is. Most of all, I pray that once he returns in those "blues" that he come home to me every night and that he's constantly learning from the day. I pray that his character be more conspicuous than the gleam of his badge but not that of his wedding band...lol. Y'all, I'm telling you! Wooooo, Lord! I'd post a picture, but he asked me not to. I am a strong believer in that we grow from those things that are new and uncomfortable at times. This has been an experience of growth for the both of us as God tests our marriage, our perseverance, and our faith.
Another thing that has changed is our address. As I mentioned earlier, we were house hunting, and we found our house. We are now in a new city, but not too far from where we were originally. We closed a month ago, but we've only officially lived there for about two weeks. This can be a whole other post as well. Boy, the "joys" of buying a house!!!
*********************************************************************************
For those of you who kept up with my blog, you all knew I was getting my birth control implant removed on June 1st. Well, I did! Tyrell was suppose to go with me, but his scheduled changed, so he couldn't. My GYN decided to see me back in six months (usually a year for non-cysters), if we haven't conceived by then. He prescribe prenatal vitamins so that my body is ready to welcome our baby when he or she is conceived. We commenced to baby making! June and July both fly by with no signs of a period, and I'm discouraged because I know my body doesn't do things like start menstrual cycles on its own. I began to wonder if we made the right decision or if we should seek some type of fertility assistance, but we decide to stick out the six months, and see what happens with prayer. One day early August, my breasts (well nipples) begin to get super sensitive. I began to wonder if it's Mother Nature or pregnancy. I couldn't tell so I consulted two friends who had experienced pregnancy. One had me thinking that I need to just listen to my body and be proud either way, and the other had me in the bathroom taking test (which were all negative). So many thoughts ran through my mind:
"It's just hormonal changes."
"Maybe it's too early to tell"
"I don't care which it is, but I hope whatever it is, it will hurry up and show itself."
Then, the day came, and I cried! It was a Monday, and I was at work having terrible stomach pains (like the ones when you really have to "go", but your scared to make the wrong move...lol"). So, I went to find that Mother Nature was on my side! That my body can do what it was made to do with no assistance from birth control. I cried because this was the first time in my adult life that I've had a period naturally! I celebrated right there on the toilet with no shame. If I can do this, there is no telling what God has in store for me. So what if I have to work a million times harder to lose weight and make babies. I'm going to do it! After fixing my face, I set up my fertility calendar, so that I could track my period and fertility. I'm not to the point where I'm taking temps and checking hormone levels, but Lord knows I may have to go there someday. Some other thoughts that have come to mind are:
What if I am not able to carry a child full term?
What if PCOS causes complications?
Will my weight be an issue?
Will pregnancy balance my hormone so that my man hairs fade? LOL
Since I'm fat will I show if I become pregnant?
That's just the beginning of the list, and after all these thoughts subside, I got to YouTube to look at videos of mom's who've been where I am. Then, I know that anything is possible!
You are amazing still. I am proud of you for sticking it out even thru the tough times. Praying for continued blessings. Also can't wait to visit the new house! Love you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ci! I know you always have my back! Love you, too!
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