Fat Girl Frank: Weeks 5&6

So.  I'm going to jump right into this.  I'm fat!  I mean really fat, and that's the truth!  I have rolls, dimples, nooks and crannies galore, and honestly, they've been all I've known for pretty much my whole life.  For all my life, even today and forever, I've loved me some me.  I mean every crevice, lump, and bump because inside of all of this a kind, caring, genuine, intelligent, generous soul.  With that said, I can also be very nonchalant, selfish (rightfully so), and FRANK.  If you've been following me, you know of the most important reasons for my wanting to become a healthier me: overall better health, wanting to become a mommy, taking control of my PCOS, and preventing the weight-related illnesses that are prevalent in the African American community.  This whole time I thought I was doing this just for me, but I realized today that that's not entirely true.  I'm going to list some other reasons why I'm doing this first for me and then for myself.  Some of these reasons are pretty superficial, but who the hell cares.  I'm sure someone can relate, so here they go:

FOR ME:

1. I would love to visit an amusement park for something other than the games and food.  In other words, I want to comfortably fit into a ride that my current hips will NOT permit me to.
2. So that those same hips won't hurt when lying on them for too long.
3. I hate sweating for no reason.  Well I suppose, extra cushion isn't really "no reason."  But I hate it!!! I mean, come on, when it's like 50 below out???
4. I was going to say for the cute clothes, but I'm finding that plus size fashion is growing, slowly, but growing nonetheless. I'd still like my "skinny" wardrobe, though, and I'd like to pay less for them using less fabric.
5. I would love to buy clothes that are proportionate.  Which may or may not happen, but have you ever tried on a dress where they top is super loose and the bottom is super tight? Or, the whole thing is just all wrong because they just can't seem to get plus size right?
6. I want to get a good wear out of my jeans.  My thighs rub.  What else is there to say?
7. Really, I just want to feel better everyday.  I want the energy to hop up out of the bed and get the morning started like I use to.

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO EVER TRIED TO MAKE ME FEEL SMALL:

1. To the rude brother (and the young lady who may or may not have been his girlfriend) who had he audacity to open his mouth to ask me if I was serious in regards to me walking on a sidewalk that was obviously made for just two people at a time.  Mind you, I was there first, so you two should have yielded to my double-wide ass with no lip.
2. To the driver who stopped at the crosswalk to let me cross but then revved his engine and screamed "hurry your fat as up!"  Well, if you were in such a hurry, you could have bypassed me like the five other cars before you.  
3. To the discourteous waitress at the Pizza Hut who said, "Really?" when I asked for a second bowl of soup which, might I add, was included in the all-you-can-eat soup, salad, and breadsticks deal.  Then had the nerve to offer my now husband a container of soup to-go.  Had the gall to have us waiting for ten minutes with only two other couples in the place. Guess you get no tip.
4. To the student on the city transit bus who place her belongings in the seat next to her when she saw me coming.  The student who didn't know that had there not been 10 other seats open on the bus, her things would have politely made there way to the floor.
5. To the immature high-school girl who had nothing better to do then announce that the fat middle-schooler just made the bus rock.  "Oh, my God! Did y'all feel the bus shake?" Oh, and thanks to her friend who said, "No."  Oh, and did I mention that she's packed more than a few pounds now, too.  I guess the joke was on her.  

I could go on, but I won't.  I am doing this for every sister (or brother) who has been made to feel inferior, uncomfortable, or unwanted on/in a sidewalk, crosswalk, restaurant, bus, gym, or even just plain in your own skin because of his or her weight or body.  You are worthy of love and respect no matter who thinks you may not deserve it.  Phew!  I had to get that out! Finally, I do this for my wonderful husband who reminds me everyday that MY Big is Beautiful because he deserves the best me possible.  God knows I am a work in progress on SO many levels, but aren't we all??

I won't bore you with my food for the past couple of weeks, but I will leave you with a couple of really good recipes we tried for meal prep.

Chicken & Farro Chili (because we love our slow cooker find this and other healthy slow cooker recipes here.)  I could eat this every day.  It's delicious and filling!!!

Baked Shrimp Egg Rolls  (find this recipe here. The only problem I have with these is that they have to be eaten quickly or they will begin to mold.  So they aren't great for meal prep, but I say go for it if you want a quick healthy dinner recipe.

The Numbers Game and other quick updates

Since my official weigh-in is in two weeks, I am not going to play the numbers game today.  I will, however, tell you that as of Wednesday, March 9th, I am down almost 6 lbs, and I am getting better at not hopping on the scale every morning.  I had an NSV (Non-Scale Victory) this week as well.  I put on a shirt that my in-laws gave me for my birthday and it was noticeably looser about the midsection.  I was really excited about that.  Another thing I'd like to update you all on is that I started the the modified version of the conservative couch to 5K this week and I feel optimistic about it.  You can view my version that I made for my office at work here.*  It was modified from this version of C25K.*  My husband are more consistent with our workout schedule (Currently 3 days/week) as well which makes me feel like this can absolutely be a lifestyle change. That said, I'll be back in about two weeks with an official weigh-in and other updates.  'Til then...Just keep movin'!!!


* Please see my health disclaimer.